I Need An Agent

I was eight years old when I started working professionally as an actor — Voice-over, musical theater, the whole shebang.Then, one day sitting in Nate & Al’s having breakfast with my mom (or maybe it was lunch) I overheard the woman in the booth next to me talking, and I realized that she was a well-known agent in Hollywood.

After the meal, I walked around and said “Excuse me for interrupting, but I’m a young actress and singer and I’m aware you’re an agent and wondered if I could audition for you.” 

The woman looked me up and down and said, “Well, you certainly won’t be an ingénue, and you need to lose about 15 pounds.” Then she went back to her meal and continued eating. 

I kid you not. I said thank you, walked out with my mom and said to her, “Wow that was horrible, she has no idea of my talent. She never heard me sing, and if I was a different person I would give up right now based on what she said to me.”

For sure, she didn’t miss a soft spot for me, which is my weight. I’ve struggled with it my whole life, thanks to a society that worships a very specific type of body. I was put on a diet when I was nine years old — absolutely inappropriate — It’s taking a lot of work and unlearning, but I’m very grateful to say that I have a healthier relationship with food and my body. I still struggle sometimes, but it’s about taking care of my well being, feeling good in my body, capable with movement, being playful, having strength and flexibility. My weekly tennis game is fun and a way to connect with my friend. My morning walks clear my mind and give my dog a great time. ( think this is it’s own story in the making).

That being said, the woman really was rude and rather ignorant to not even find out about my level of talent and also to be so very very mean to a 12 year old. 

Unfortunately, that ignorance, meanness, lack of understanding, and rejection will never stop. Tom Petty‘s Grammy winning album “Freefalling” was rejected by his own label, saying it would never sell. Tom Petty! Who already had a lifelong career of success.

You will be doubted, judged, questioned, supported, praised, called an idiot, and a genius.

So if that scale of criticism always exists, how do you know where you stand?

First and foremost, you must know you — your talent, your truth, and be 100% committed to your authenticity. Second, you need to know that you’ve done your best, that you’re prepared, and that you’ve put in the work. Oftentimes, success (or lack thereof) has nothing to do with you, but the timing of the world. If you’ve practiced and worked and you’re prepared, the opportunities will open up for you. Third, find your team who supports you, that is real and honest with you. Finally, be truthful with yourself — dedicated and willing to do the work. That woman didn’t stop me when I was 12, so don’t let anyone stop you.