Quitting, Age 5
By the age of three, I knew I wanted to be a singer, an artist. I loved singing. And people responded to me. I put on shows at home that made everyone laugh. And boy, was entertaining my family important. It meant for at least a little while, the fighting stopped, I could make them laugh or cry and be in each other’s company.
By age five, I was performing in school plays and taking piano lessons. I was not as adept at piano as I was with singing -- which meant that I had to practice - - boring! My little five-year-old brain thought, “Well, if I’m not great at this, I must not be good at this!” So I quit. Perfectionism was already setting in.
Oh, to talk to my five-year-old self today!
If only I could tell her that she doesn’t have to be perfect at anything. No one does. Just continue to do what you enjoy, as your skills grow you gain more than your goals -practice becomes fun! Those words would’ve saved me a lot of heartache.
Today, I still describe myself as a very bad pianist, because I am. I can’t really play, not the way I hear it. Of course, I’m aware that what I need is a lot of practice, specifically in getting rhythm in my left hand and when I am willing to put in the effort and time, I will reach goals I set for myself.
Perfectionism prevented me from becoming a strong piano player when I was young, it prevented me from many things. Perfectionism is not greatness. It is paralysis. Perfectionism are the outside voices internalized. Perfectionism is all about “WHAT WILL OTHERS THINK OF ME?!”
What is meaningful is the pursuit of EXCELLENCE. Doing anything at the highest level - with respect, expression, bringing yourself to it uniquely. Overcoming challenges become awesome hurdles I enjoy now - who knew I’d be learning 5 new software platforms for The Parr Method!
Doing something with passion, purpose and internal drive is an incredible experience. Being motivated by perfectionism is a paralyzing, fearful, white knuckling it form of hell.
Losing the need to get it right and focusing on the love of doing what I’m passionate about in the moment is WAY more fun, fulfilling, and free.
How do you want to experience life and your career?
If any of this sounds familiar and you want tools to reconnect to your joy and kill the perfectionist…
Check out BLUEPRINT , the foundational online course in the PARR METHOD.
BLUEPRINT is the first session I have with every artist I work with. Now available as an online course you can take anytime.
BLUEPRINT is about connecting to your love of music and clearing out the voices in your head. It’s about breaking through your fears + resistance to be boldly YOU.
Rated 10/10 by 100% of artists who completed the course.