Feeling Like a Fake
I love singing-- by the age of three, I knew it was all I wanted. I once pointed to a Barbra Streisand record and said: “I wanna do what she does!” I had a lot of heart, and lots of guts.
I love being on stage-- I had no problem singing whenever, for whoever. When I was eight, I went up onstage at a blues club in Chicago and performed; When visiting a Baptist church with a friend, I was invited to sing on stage. I hopped up and joined the band in “God Bless the Child” at the drop of a hat. I’ve always been a person who is excited to share my heart through song.
Unfortunately, when I started training and learning technique, my confidence weakened. My ability to jump in and share was nowhere to be found. I’d second-guess myself: I had to pick the “right” song to showcase my “mix.” I psyched myself out, and became a person who followed rules; where I used to love standing out and rebelling.
“Getting it right” put my spirit in a cage, and my voice somewhere 10 feet in front of me. I was so disconnected from myself.
People would compliment how good my voice was, which made me cringe. I imagine they were moved by my performance, but I felt like I failed. I didn’t feel anything from my performance.
Technique locked me in a box, putting me on a path towards “perfection.” This shut down my artistry-- I constantly felt as if something were wrong. I was stuck. Practicing was no longer fun, and neither was singing! Learning the “right” way to do things made me feel like a fake, no longer like the artist I am. Applauded for being something that didn’t sit right with me.
It took years to break this pattern - to change my perspective, my focus and get back to myself, to my love of making music. All the while, I was coaching and this became the foundation for my coaching - helping artists lose their perfectionism, lose their fears, get “unstuck,” and rediscover that joy of singing so you can be the wild, quirky, whatever-kind-of-weird-you-are artist and LOVE IT!
There is no wrong way to be you. It’s only “wrong” to NOT be you!
Sometimes this happens from societal, familial pressures, sometimes after music becomes your job and focus shifts from your original joys, passions to pleasing your audience, selling tickets, not messing up etc.
THE PARR METHOD is about “Empowering artists to be vulnerable, confident and create their vision.”
If any of this sounds familiar and you want tools to reconnect to your joy and kill the perfectionist…
Check out BLUEPRINT , the foundational online course in the PARR METHOD.
BLUEPRINT is the first session I have with every artist I work with. Now available as an online course you can take anytime.
BLUEPRINT is about connecting to your love of music and clearing out the voices in your head. It’s about breaking through your fears + resistance to be boldly YOU.
Rated 10/10 by 100% of artists who completed the course.